We buried mom this week. She would have been 73 next month. It had been 11+ years since a massive stroke robbed her of most of the faculties that I take for granted. Much of that time she spent in and out of hospitals or rehab and nursing facilities. Last Tuesday morning she was finally set free from that nearly dead body and today is with Jesus! Thank you God! On this Saturday morning after I'm thinking about several things...
Moms
Mom loved her kids... all 3 of us. No matter her circumstances she always cared and provided for us - sometimes working 3 jobs to do it. Growing up I thought moms loving their kids was a given. But after years of working with children at camps, on mission projects and in schools I'm aware that's not true. There are simply way too many kids navigating life without a mom's love and way too many moms abandoning what has to be one of life's greatest callings. Thank you mom for your great and enduring love!
Death
It stinks! Figuratively, literally, absolutely, conclusively! No matter how long or how severe a disability is it seems we are never completely ready for a loved life to end. Yet ready or not...! Even as I had prayed for mom to be freed from her awful condition I always sensed that I was not quite ready to say goodbye. I was right. And that's all I have to say about that!
Hope
While I may not have been ready to say goodbye - mom was certainly ready for death! Not only was she way past tired of that broken body, mom also had a rock solid conviction about her future in the next life! She believed passionately in the promises of Holy Scripture summed up in these two declarations: "...to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Phillipians 1:21) and "To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord" (2 Corinthians 5:8) She was a life-long follower of Jesus Christ and because of that she knew that the life she has today would be far, far better than the one she had last week! And because I share her belief and have committed my life to Christ I'll see her again someday in Heaven. So really my goodbye is more like a "I'll see you later mom." In fact, that's exactly what I said the last time I spoke to her last Sunday!
Heaven
I'm not really sure what it's like. The Bible is crystal clear on some things. Like that it's reserved for those who trust their life to Jesus Christ and commit to following Him. But it seems foggy on other matters with only snap shots and blurry glimpses of that reality. Maybe God knew we couldn't handle knowing much more. Streets of gold? Mansions? Crowns? Singing? Whoa - now if that one's for real then mom's right at home. She loved music! She had an absolutely beautiful voice and was an accomplished pianist - both of which the stroke robbed her of. Yet even though in her later years she struggled to form the simplest single words in conversation, she somehow could sing along in complete phrases while listening to her favorite gospel songs. I bet I know what she'll be doing for the next thousand years or so!
Life
When mom went to the nursing home we all knew that would be her final residence in this life. A few weeks after she went there she and I were talking one day and she seemed so sad. The nursing staff had told me that she wouldn't eat or respond much. (btw - that staff of nurses and aids at Lake Point in Augusta, KS were incredible in the way they cared for mom and loved on her.) As we talked I remember hearing a God whisper to encourage her to find a ministry. So I told her something like - "Mom, the only way you'll ever find joy in this place is if you first give it to others. This place is full of hurting people. Find a way to serve them - even with your disability. Give them some joy and I promise God will give you back more than you give."
To be honest I never really knew how she did with that. She usually seemed sad when I visited, crying when I arrived and when I left. But at the funeral one of her nurses shared that mom was considered the resident greeter. Evidently she was always at the front door in her wheelchair smiling and acknowledging folks as they came in. I knew she was usually there when I arrived but I thought she was just waiting for me. Then came these words from the nurse: "She had a smile that would light up the room and always wanted to make others smile." Wow - way to go mom! And thanks for reminding ME! I won't forget.
Friends
A few days before mom died my sister had called to tell us mom wasn't doing well. I called my brother, told our daughter and son, let a few friends know, and then we all headed to Kansas to be with her. From that moment on we began receiving texts, calls, Facebook messages, cards and emails from so many friends, family and co-workers. They were coming in literally from all over the world. Each offered their prayers and support. It has been so encouraging and we have felt so loved.
Mom's funeral was planned to be a small grave-side service. We all anticipated that it'd be mostly immediate family and maybe a couple of life-long friends. Before the service we gathered at a little Methodist church for lunch before heading out to the cemetery. As we sat down to eat I looked up and almost couldn't believe it as extended family and friends I hadn't seen for years began to show up. How did they know? Where did they hear? We felt so honored and again so loved. We didn't eat much but oh what a great time it was to reconnect.
When we arrived at the cemetery we stepped out of the car into a cold January-in-Kansas wind. It was about 20 degrees and we were all bundled up. As we walked toward the grave we suddenly noticed that even more had arrived at the cemetery for the service. My co-pastors at NorthBridge had driven 4 hours one-way from Springfield to stand in near zero windchill weather for a 30 minute service. Others had traveled from all around the area. We were overwhelmed and again felt so loved and supported!
I have a fresh understanding of why God urges us not to get lazy, as we're so inclined to do, and forsake connecting and encouraging each other (Hebrew 10:25 MG version). During this past week we have felt so encouraged by our families, friends, co-workers, those we see daily and those we haven't seen in some time. God has used them all to bless us during this difficult time!
